We have all heard this a million times. Yet, in this very real big bad world of ours, we have seen with our very own eyes that it is so not true.
Everyone prepares a mental image with the first look at a person. We are all prejudiced no matter how much we try to deny it. “First impression”, as people say, its all about looks and attitude. I agree that attitude and personality do play an important role, but come on, are we going to like a person who looks sloppy rather than someone who is neatly dressed , with a good looking face and smart personality in the first meet? I guess not.
Lets take it from another angel. We do not like eating messy looking food. We need our food to look well cooked and well organised. Why do we set out tables while having dinner? Why don’t we just eat directly from the pan we cooked the dinner in? Why to use beautiful china? Because looks matter!
Every wedding has pictures. Everyone wants themselves to look the best. No one would know that the bride is a double PhD or a MD by looking at the picture, but they will definitely know that her hairstyle isn’t good, her dress makes her look fat and so on. Its everywhere. I can give more examples but I guess I have made my point. Sadly, even though people give their thoughts on how looks don’t matter, its the persons heart and mind which do, it isn’t what is happening everywhere. I agree, its the heart and soul of a human being which matters the most.
As said by Lord Krishna, “we should not pay a lot of attention towards our outer body, but instead should work for the inner soul, it’s satisfaction.” So reach out for the soul and not the upper covering, not the looks of the outer body.
Every human is structured to have dreams. To hope and imagine things. We all have certain thoughts as to what we want to be, how we want to live and whom we want to live with.
I have come across atleast 50 such moments when I caught myself saying out loud, “Some day I am going to be a writer”; “Someday I will get married, settle down and be contented”; “Someday I will change the world”; and so on….
I am sure many of you must have dreamt and imagined about this “Someday”. We all have dreams, we all want to make a difference. Even a small time office clerk has a dream of someday being a businessman. Even a house maker can have visions of someday making it big as a best selling author along with raising her kids. These aren’t pipe dreams. The certain “Someday” can exist if you don’t just dream about it but also do something about it. These phantasm ideas can turn into reality the moment you believe you can do it.
I am the one to talk, I have been dreaming of publishing my book for almost three years now but my “Someday” hasn’t arrived yet. I want this pipe dream to turn into reality. I want one of the coming days to be my “Someday”. So go get your day everyone!!
What makes you believe in something or someone? What is the force which drives within you to keep faith and moving forward?
Love, friendship, trust are some of the emotions which have no evidence. How will you explain to someone why you love them ? How shall you put forward your case as to why you blindly trust someone? Do you have a strong evidence of the same? I think not.
Some things are left on belief. Some things are better left unsaid. How else would you explain the phenomena of “Love at first sight”. Or what some people call the “Gut feeling”. There are certain things in life which you can’t explain and you have no evidence of . A child does’t need proof that his mother loves him. When a woman agrees to marry a man, there is no solid proof about his intentions but she goes with it. Emotions just exist , just like vacuum. No one has seen vacuum but it exists. There ain’t any cogent evidence but still the human race thrives on love. Thats how powerful love can be. Love comes in many for, be it friends , family or your soulmate. You just need to take the leap of faith.
There are certain situations which one cannot explain in appropriate words. There are certain heart breaks which leave one in a purgatory abyss.
I stumbled upon a close enough explanation for one such situation/heart break. It dawned upon me while I was listening to this song called”Bleeding Love”. When someone doesn’t love you back and leaves you in that abyss, it hurts like an open vein. BINGO, I told myself!!
How much does it hurt?Is there a measure?? I really don’t think so. This is something which you cannot measure. Is there a rating scale?? Love now a days is daily process, people fall in love and people fall out of love and its on repeat. But the hurt which follows after every heart break isn’t pleasant. No matter it was a one day affair or a 10 year relationship. Love is love. And when the heart is broken , it will hurt. You would rather a vampire suck all the blood in your vein than experience this pain.
Yes, I am a little dramatic and use fiction to express my feelings. But hey, so do many others !! There is no harm in using fiction to hide your love or show your love. And the open vein I am talking about, I don’t get what kind of retribution it is for. When you love someone and its not reciprocated, it hurts . And the fact that you can’t let go exacerbates the pain raised to 100.
The definition of fixated is “cause (someone) to develop an obsessive attachment to someone or something.”
Now as we have cleared that, I do agree I have a tendency of being fixated way too often. As I have agreed to that, what I don’t get it how should I get it out of my system. Yes, if I like something I need to know everything about it that very moment. I start a book, I need to finish it that very day as I cannot tolerate the rush which goes within my veins thinking about it. I need to get over it soon. If I like someone, again, I am attached(too quickly for my own liking). It has come to my notice that I have been born in the wrong era. Being attached to humans beings in this era is way to hazardous than one hopes for .
Its not like I don’t get reality checks . Because I do. Every new chapter in my life brings along with it an epiphany, but I just don’t seem to learn. And I guess its not just me but many people out there who have this “issue” I guess. This trait dos help me in my work as I do my job well, with every ounce of my heart in it. But again, can’t do anything about it in the personal front. I will have to make do with this “issue” . I will get attached, I will get sad, I will get over it and I shall repeat it again. Its a loop in my life which will never stop. Every epiphany is lead by yet another fixation!!
“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Yes, those are the golden words said by Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth , expressing the “ARDENT” love he held for the lady. Do they sound cliche?? Not at all.
But in this era, will you find someone who would confront you and tell you EXACTLY how they feel?? I don’t think so. Now a days, telling someone how you feel is called ” Cliche” or “cheesy” . Also, finding someone who actually says such words is like finding a three headed dragon in this town. So to sum it up, pretty easy.
I am also one of those people who day dream of finding their “Mr.Darcy” . But again it comes to the point where even I call it “Cliche” when someone remotely tries to say such words. Why is it so? Is it because we are so used to the liras and the cheats that now we wouldn’t know true love if it slapped us on our faces. Just to save ourselves from another heartbreak , we cringe from the cliche of it all. But deep down, its actually what we want- get another chance at love and see if this time you have found your Mr Darcy or not.