I have heard my peers say things like, “Ever since she got married, she has changed.”
“Motherhood has changed her”
“Since he became the boss, he has changed totally!”
But is change good or bad? And doesn’t everybody change with time? Time is a funny thing and it has it’s own will. Post marriage I realized that in order to have a happy life, both the spouses have to change a bit. But nobody forces that change on you. If it is forced, it isn’t change, it is just following orders submissively. But if you change for yourself, with a will of your own, then nothing like it. It leads to a happy and peaceful life.
Many people relate change as bad. I mean, sure for some it might be. People may change their attitudes due to a superior job or sudden heartbreaks or emotional setbacks. People change for the world because of the world. That is temporary and the results are not that pleasant. A heartbreak might change you to a person who doesn’t trust anyone else. But that isn’t how it works. Sooner or later you will have someone in your life who will make you trust them. Changing because of events or people won’t help you grow. It will just add a defensive layer around you to show others.
Motherhood changes women. They no longer have time for parties or friendly brunches. But that is not wrong. It is because their only priority at the moment is their child. When the kid grows up, the brunches and parties return slowly. Nobody forces a mother to change. She does it herself. For the child and herself. That kind of change is positive and is needed.
Don’t be let down if people say you have changed. Just be glad you have done it for your own good, smile and carry on.
Being a grown up means stress being your middle name. You are running from from here to there trying to do everything at once. Pay the bills, pick up your dry cleaning , keep your special one happy and pampered and on top of that, try not to lose your peace of mind. The end result is a zillion of people with raised BP issues, heart problems and other health issues. All because of stress of doing it all.
Being a married woman with a big family, an infant and an understanding (but sometimes childish) husband means a whole lot of hard work for me. I am trying to do dozens of things at once, whilst trying to keep everyone happy and trying not to break down under the pressure. The end result; nothing I do is perfect , everything is haphazardly done and I , personally, suffer emotionally. It was one of those days when my emotions got the better of me and I shed a few tears that my husband gave me some advice. “Its always about the priorities. Prioritize things and do them one by one. No one is perfect. Do one thing at a time and I know you will do it perfectly.”
It got me thinking, does everyone get to chose their priorities? Or am I one of the few who gets this option. I mean, I have seen people who are trying to make ends meet round the clock. I have seen people do two jobs just to feed their family even though they don’t like either of the jobs. Do they have an option of doing one thing at a time? There is so much of poverty and hunger in this world and here I am worrying over cooking, studying , feeding, etc.. There are wars going on, people dying of diseases unknown . The world is bigger than you and I . So lets take a break and be thankful that you are alive, healthy and happy in this world.
I am an individual. I have an identity which I very well like to maintain. Everyone has their own set of problems and their own set of dramas lined up in this funny journey called life.
On this journey, we get so engrossed pleasing others, taking care of others, earning money, power and fame that we forget to love ourselves. We tend to buy expensive clothing, perfumes, shoes to make others like us. To fit in the crowd, all the while forgetting to look at ourselves in the mirror and be proud of how far we have come. Half of us get degrees because our parents wanted us to, half of us do it to achieve a position of power, be rich, have a rich household. But what about taking some time off, being with yourself? Loving yourself?
In this race of life, we humans have forgotten to love ourselves. Look closely at ourselves to notice how much we have changed, how much we hate ourselves. We constantly try to fill the void which exists in our soul. What we need to do is take a break, look at ourself, spend time alone and love ourself. Tell yourself that you have come so far and you are doing good. Things will be fine and you are a good person. You are beautiful . We have stopped loving ourselves which in turn has made us this robotic being who is constantly running errands and jobs while forgetting to live. We need to usufruct this life and the outcomes of our achievements.
Take a break, pamper yourself, motivate yourself, love yourself!
There was a time when getting a “Good” written by your teacher would become the best day of your life.
There was a time when getting that extra hour to watch television before going to bed was like an achievement.
Those were the simpler times I must say. Look at us now!! We are a part of a race. We have lost the meaning of happiness. No one is satisfied, no one is content. We all want more and more. Better jobs, more money, bigger house, beautiful partner, fame, etc. When does it all stop??
Those simpler times, when after a long day at school , getting appreciated by your teacher , having an extra piece of cake at dinner, watching the TV would give us the feeling of pure content and a sound sleep. What has happened to us now?? Nothing is simple anymore. No one is at gratified anymore.
We have a tumultuous relationship with life now. It will never be simple again. But we should always try to find a loophole, and find the simple sweet things that give us a sense of satisfaction. Spending time with your loved ones, reading your favourite book and making people smile. Maybe these tiny acts counterpoise the rush hour life which we have now. Maybe these make things tiny bit simpler for our benefit.
When you travel , you make so many memories. Traveling to new places means learning new things, meeting new people.
According to me , another kind of traveling is when you travel for someone, to meet someone. When the journey seems really long as at the other end there is someone waiting. You travel for miles and miles yet you are anxious till you reach your destination. You don’t seem to care about anything else at that moment.
When a husband covers miles and miles just to be on time for his wife’s delivery. The journey is full of worry. When a father travels the entire night just to make sure he makes it in time for his child’s birthday. When a man drives for miles to meet someone special. The wait, checking the time a 1000 times. Its all different than just traveling on a normal day.
These things go unnoticed unless you really strain and think about it. Also you need a lot of free time to be thinking such things. But again, small things matter the most. So ponder over it my friends.
Dreaming of the unknown gives a feeling no one can understand. Building up an idea about that unknown and then dwelling upon it gives happiness to someone who finds happiness in the unknown. No one can tell why or how. It simply does.