I am an individual. I have an identity which I very well like to maintain. Everyone has their own set of problems and their own set of dramas lined up in this funny journey called life.
On this journey, we get so engrossed pleasing others, taking care of others, earning money, power and fame that we forget to love ourselves. We tend to buy expensive clothing, perfumes, shoes to make others like us. To fit in the crowd, all the while forgetting to look at ourselves in the mirror and be proud of how far we have come. Half of us get degrees because our parents wanted us to, half of us do it to achieve a position of power, be rich, have a rich household. But what about taking some time off, being with yourself? Loving yourself?
In this race of life, we humans have forgotten to love ourselves. Look closely at ourselves to notice how much we have changed, how much we hate ourselves. We constantly try to fill the void which exists in our soul. What we need to do is take a break, look at ourself, spend time alone and love ourself. Tell yourself that you have come so far and you are doing good. Things will be fine and you are a good person. You are beautiful . We have stopped loving ourselves which in turn has made us this robotic being who is constantly running errands and jobs while forgetting to live. We need to usufruct this life and the outcomes of our achievements.
Take a break, pamper yourself, motivate yourself, love yourself!
What makes you believe in something or someone? What is the force which drives within you to keep faith and moving forward?
Love, friendship, trust are some of the emotions which have no evidence. How will you explain to someone why you love them ? How shall you put forward your case as to why you blindly trust someone? Do you have a strong evidence of the same? I think not.
Some things are left on belief. Some things are better left unsaid. How else would you explain the phenomena of “Love at first sight”. Or what some people call the “Gut feeling”. There are certain things in life which you can’t explain and you have no evidence of . A child does’t need proof that his mother loves him. When a woman agrees to marry a man, there is no solid proof about his intentions but she goes with it. Emotions just exist , just like vacuum. No one has seen vacuum but it exists. There ain’t any cogent evidence but still the human race thrives on love. Thats how powerful love can be. Love comes in many for, be it friends , family or your soulmate. You just need to take the leap of faith.
There are certain situations which one cannot explain in appropriate words. There are certain heart breaks which leave one in a purgatory abyss.
I stumbled upon a close enough explanation for one such situation/heart break. It dawned upon me while I was listening to this song called”Bleeding Love”. When someone doesn’t love you back and leaves you in that abyss, it hurts like an open vein. BINGO, I told myself!!
How much does it hurt?Is there a measure?? I really don’t think so. This is something which you cannot measure. Is there a rating scale?? Love now a days is daily process, people fall in love and people fall out of love and its on repeat. But the hurt which follows after every heart break isn’t pleasant. No matter it was a one day affair or a 10 year relationship. Love is love. And when the heart is broken , it will hurt. You would rather a vampire suck all the blood in your vein than experience this pain.
Yes, I am a little dramatic and use fiction to express my feelings. But hey, so do many others !! There is no harm in using fiction to hide your love or show your love. And the open vein I am talking about, I don’t get what kind of retribution it is for. When you love someone and its not reciprocated, it hurts . And the fact that you can’t let go exacerbates the pain raised to 100.
You know that feeling when you think, “Screw this shit, I am done!!”
I am sure you all do. We all have that feeling time and again.So I am going to elaborate on that feeling today.
I have been away for a long duration from my blog and I am appalled that I have not yet lost my followers!! You all are great by the way !! So, coming back to that feeling. I have been working in the corporate sector for a while now. Apart from the few good friends I have made and the salary that gets credited in my account at the end of every month, its palpable that “Screw this shit, I am done” comes to my mind frequently. That feeling when you do everything meticulously and still get a mouthful is beyond my understanding. I am sure all those who “work”, no matter where they work , will relate to what I am talking about.
Then comes that feeling outside work. As if at work wasn’t enough. Life just throws it all at you, expecting you to scoop and dive and jump like an all-rounder olympic champion all at once. Sounds like fun!! Outside work, it’s people expecting you to be brave and shine at every step in your life. You cannot always be bright and shiny. There are days when you are dark and sulky and just want to be that ay for a while. But God forbid you get peace!! People (friends and family whom I do love with all my heart) say stuff like “Buck up!!” “Get over it” “Cummon, you have been through worse” “Dont get down just because you had a bad day at work”
Well, I am no GOD. I have human feelings and at times like these I do have feelings like asking everyone to “Shut the hell up!” “Let me be” oh, not to forget sometimes to smash my computer on someones head!! I am sure most of you will comprehend with that feeling the most.
There is always a confusion amongst us human beings about the concept of want and need. I am no expert myself but I did ponder over it and would like to share my thoughts with you as well.
So a child is crying . He fell down from his bed and is hurt. He wants comfort but he needs his mother. There is a difference. If his sister or brother comes and picks him up and hugs him, he would stop crying but he would be totally fine internally only by his mother.
A young teenager is feeling lonely and upset. She wants company. Her friends give her company but she needs a companion. She needs a boyfriend. She wants love just like any other teenager across this world.
A man wants a successful career , money and family. What he needs is support and love from his friends and family to achieve it all.
Lets come to me. What I want is to become a famous author and touch millions of hearts like my favourite authors did : J K Rowling, Jane Austen, Cassandra Clare, E L James, Leo Tolstoy, etc. What I need is not too different in this case. I need to write and write. Write everything that comes to my mind. Edit it again and again. Re-read it . Thats what I need to do to get what I want.
So do what you need to get what you want! Or do what you want to get what you need !! Its still confusing.