The forgotten diary

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Ever since I was a little girl, I kept a diary. Writing in it my day to day joys and sorrows, it kept me going through some tuff times (the adolescent times  as they say). It was my priced possession, something which I cherished. School, college, it covered them all.

But true life starts once you are out in the real world. Facing the big bad wolves all clawing for success in every field. I started my job and slowly my diary lay in my closet, waiting for ink to seep in through its pages soon. I wrote my diary mostly during weekends when I was away from the hassles of work and wanted to vent out my anger against sexism at work place and unfair bosses.

I frequented my diary often when the phase of my marriage came along, as there were so many emotions, so many new characters in my life I had to talk about. So many questions and so many dreams. My diary sure was happy as we had become best friends again. But soon after marriage, once I settled down and work and family took all my time, my diary lay forgotten in my closet, dust accumulating on it, still waiting for me to share again. I feel guilty today as I realised that I had stopped writing. My diary is what made me realise I love to write, that I can express myself on paper than otherwise. Yet, it is forgotten now and I feel ashamed. Its like I forgot a friend who was with me listening to me in every wake of my life.

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To all those who keep a journal, DO NOT STOP. It’s a part of who you are. Don’t let it lay forgotten amongst magazines and old newspapers, dusty and frayed. Keep it close to you, cherish it, be regular. There is nothing known as “No time”. You have to make time for everything. Keep your diary alive!

Have we grown up?

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When we were kids, we always said ” Damn, I can’t wait to grow up, have a life of my own. No parents to nag me, money of my own , blah blah blah.”

Well, reality check people, growing up isn’t a cake walk.  We said all those things as we were in the illusion that grown up life is freaking amazing with no worries. But the truth is that , we have been in a cocoon made by our parents till we are teenagers, and then BAM…. we are sent to the real world!!

I always thought being a man was tuff, seeing my father take care of our entire family and others as well. Being the man of the house is a huge responsibility. But slowly, when I grew up , it hit me that NO!! Being a woman is arduous. I mean, there will be no family if there is no woman in the house. How will the man be the man of the house if there is no woman in his life? Growing up taught me this. Now , when I look at my mom all I see is her strength, her resilient attitude and her smile which is so assuring that nothing seems impossible. Will I be able to be the same when I attain her position?

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Can we be like our parents, our role models when we reach that stage? Will our kids look up to us like how we look up to our parents when we grow up? I realised it is only after suffering on our own do we realise what all our parents must have been through. Why is it that we humans only realise things when we go through it all ourselves? Is it the procedure of finally growing up? If so, how much do we have to go through to finally grow up? Is there a limit to growing up or is it an ongoing process?

Whatever it might be, growing up is an experience which comes with time. I hope we all grow up some day and we have smiles on our faces when we do.

Those simpler times……….

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There was a time when getting a “Good” written by your teacher would become the best day of your life.

There was a time when getting that extra hour to watch television before going to bed was like an achievement.

Those were the simpler times I must say. Look at us now!! We are a part of a race. We have lost the meaning of happiness. No one is satisfied, no one is content. We all want more and more. Better jobs, more money, bigger house, beautiful partner, fame, etc. When does it all stop??

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Those simpler times, when after a long day at school , getting appreciated by your teacher , having an extra piece of cake at dinner, watching the TV would give us the feeling of pure content and a sound sleep. What has happened to us now?? Nothing is simple anymore. No one is at gratified anymore.

We have a tumultuous relationship with life now. It will never be simple again. But we should always try to find a loophole, and find the simple sweet things that give us a sense of satisfaction. Spending time with your loved ones, reading your favourite book and making people smile. Maybe these tiny acts counterpoise the rush hour life which we have now. Maybe these make things tiny bit simpler for our benefit.

Keep it simple.

the little things…….

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Life is really full of surprises. There are ups and downs. Laughter and tears. We are so involved in our troubles and other’s troubles that sometimes we forget to enjoy the little things . Also we sometimes don’t even realise that these little things have a great impact on us in some way or the other. 

You are a student. Lectures , assignments, presentations and exams. But amongst all this, when you spend one lazy afternoon with your best friend, it just calms you down. You forget everything for the moment. Obviously the next day you are back again in the turmoil of your student life. But the moment of peace you spent with your friend charged you up. 

You are a busy busy businessman. You have no time for family. Still once or twice a year you make sure to have a holiday with your kids and wife. No matter a long one or a short one. Because these little things make you happy and charge you up for the next hard task . 

Working woman have the most difficult lives. Juggling between family and work. But when she comes home and sees that her kids are waiting for her to wish her happy birthday (which she had forgotten) , its the mist precious of the moments. And she forgets everything. 

An old woman spends all day reading or watching TV . But when her grandson just comes up to her, hugs her and kisses her and then leaves for school, it makes her day. 

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Small things matter . You just don’t realise. In this hustle of life, small things actually push you to a positive side. They might be very minute but the still matter. Take everything that comes to you. Just stay happy. 

 

Laters

always a kid……..

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So it’s a BIG DEAL. Growing up and fitting in this very complicated society and complying with the norms . I am around people who are “Oh so sophisticated”  and fit in with the Hot and Hip culture which is in now a days. And me??

Well, I prefer going to a bookshop and buying books rather than going to malls. I prefer watching Superman over some romantic movie. I sleep on a Disney bed sheet. I carry around my favorite fiction books wherever I travel.  I get to hear from so many people “You are always a kid!! please grow up!!”

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WHY SHOULD I?? I prefer being away from this real world where everyone is fake and mean . If you want to call me a kid then so be it. I would rather be a kid and stay happy than be miserable and pity myself because of the real darkness of this world . At least I am happy and contented. The thought of the famous quotes of Albus Dumbledore calms me down. The story of Scarlett motivates me to always move on and never give up.

Yes I am a kid. Infact I think that inside everyone there is a kid. Keep that kid alive and you will be happy.

Laters

The new girl

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She walked inside,
Holding her breathe.
Her face was flushed,
She was avoiding the stares.

With her head down she walked,
She had a feeling she was being mocked.
It was scary.
It was a new world.
The first day at school ,
She thought she would hurl !!

Every one eyed her,
With frequent curious glances .
She sat alone ,
Trying her best to not to look apprehensive .

A tap on her shoulder,
A friendly smile .
Exchange of names ,
And the new girl felt fine .

Laters

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