“I’m fixated, now what?!” – Epiphany !!

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The definition of fixated is “cause (someone) to develop an obsessive attachment to someone or something.” 

Now as we have cleared that, I do agree I have a tendency of being fixated way too often. As I have agreed to that, what I don’t get it how should I get it out of my system. Yes, if I like something I need to know everything about it that very moment. I start a book, I need to finish it that very day as I cannot tolerate the rush which goes within my veins thinking about it. I need to get over it soon. If I like someone, again, I am attached(too quickly for my own liking). It has come to my notice that I have been born in the wrong era. Being attached to humans beings in this era is way to hazardous than one hopes for .

Its not like I don’t get reality checks . Because I do. Every new chapter in my life brings along with it an epiphany, but I just don’t seem to learn. And I guess its not just me but many people out there who have this “issue” I guess. This trait dos help me in my work as I do my job well, with every ounce of my heart in it. But again, can’t do anything about it in the personal front. I will have to make do with this “issue” . I will get attached, I will get sad, I will get over it and I shall repeat it again. Its a loop in my life which will never stop. Every epiphany is lead by yet another fixation!!

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Ardently Cliche

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“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”  

Yes, those are the golden words said by Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth , expressing the “ARDENT” love he held for the lady.  Do they sound cliche?? Not at all.

But in this era, will you find someone who would confront you and tell you EXACTLY how they feel?? I don’t think so. Now a days, telling someone how you feel is called ” Cliche” or “cheesy” . Also, finding someone who actually says such words is like finding a three headed dragon in this town. So to sum it up, pretty easy.

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I am also one of those people who day dream of finding their “Mr.Darcy” . But again it comes to the point where even I call it “Cliche” when someone remotely tries to say such words. Why is it so? Is it because we are so used to the liras and the cheats that now we wouldn’t know true love if it slapped us on our faces. Just to save ourselves from another heartbreak , we cringe from the cliche of it all. But deep down, its actually what we want- get another chance at love and see if this time you have found your Mr Darcy or not.

Nerd Girl Problem……

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Somethings are worth waiting for. I realised it many times in life now. And every time I realise it, I am amazed more and more. 

Just like since I was eleven years old and I would wait and wait for the new Harry Potter book. The excitement, the anxiety everything was heightened. No one in my circle would understand it. They would call me crazy for being this weird nerd girl who was waiting for just a book. Hold on, JUST A BOOK????? NO WAYS…… It was like life and death for me. 

 Like now,( I am 23 years old),  I was waiting for my student exchange program for London. Everyone was excited . So was I. But again, there was a slight difference. I was excited as I would get to go to Harry Potter Studios where the movie was made. See everything with my own eyes. Experience everything. Go to Kings Cross station and run towards the wall for platform 9 3/4. And yet again, nobody understood. 

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I am excited for the next Mortal Instruments movie as I already read the book and know what happens. Around me people don’t even know its a series of books. OMG!!!!!!1 I wish I find someone exactly like me. It’s like I don’t fit. As if I am an alien. 

I hate shopping. Though take me to a book shop and I am on cloud 9!! 

Nerd Girls, I am with you. You are not alone!! I just hope I get my own kind soon enough. Waiting !!!!! 

 

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Incomplete

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“I HAVE to read this book. I HAVE to finish it. I HAVE to complete it”

The normal version of how bookworms like me react about books that make their hearts skip a beat. So here’s a few words to describe how I feel when I do not complete a certain book.

I feel a void inside me,

A piece of my heart is missing.

I feel incomplete,

The blood has stopped rushing.

Everything eles is a blur,

Only you are clear.

The ocean is calm without a stir,

It installs in me fear.

I am incomplete without you,

I can’ breathe without you.

Come and complete me,

Only then I will be set free!!

Not only these feeling are for the books, but for the characters who have stolen my heart and will always be with me forever. Be it Mr Darcy of Pride and Prejudice, Rhet Butler of Gone with the Wind, Harry Potter and so on. They have left me incomplete. I feel secure when I read those books again. I feel safe in my own world. I hope you all will understand the feeling.

Books are magical!!

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A Writers Dream…..

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Every writer is like God for people like me who have live to read. Since childhood, books were my best friends. They gave me inspirations, imagination and hope. I am sure they do the same for you all as well.

But did I want to be a writer since childhood? No.  I just loved reading. I would get lost in the fictional world and wouldn’t want to return. But as I started growing up, I found that penning down my feelings were easier than speaking out loud. I was greatly inspired by J K Rowling. Harry potter has been my life since I was eleven. And since then, I have dreamt of being a writer.

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It has been my dream that I write and write. That people read my books. They connect with my books, my words. The kids take my name and buy my books. It’s not about money, it’s about the feeing which I had about my favourite authors which I want for myself . I want to inspire others. I want to touch other’s souls and lives, like I was touched by So many great authors like J K Rowling, Enid Blyton, Margaret Mitchell, and so many others.

This is my dream. A writers dream.

Laters.

musical words………….

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what is life without being a little dramatic?? since childhood I have been a very dramatic chid.  no matter what situation I would be in, I would always have a perfect song for myself and would also have a perfect book character to relate to.

it’s kind of a therapy for myself. when you are alone and in a pickle, a song for yourself will sooth you, motivate you. when you are in love, a song for yourself will make you smile and love the person more. when you are depressed, listening to a sad song keeps you in that mood for a while and later you somehow feel better. when you are working hard , a song to motivate yourself will always buck you up!!

words with music- the songs have a huge impact on our daily lives but we don’t realise it. people go on drives alone with their ipods, not realising that those musical words are their best companions.

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I realised it. it’s time you do too. and keep in touch with these musical words, they never fail you!!

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it’s magic I feel…………

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When we were kids, we used to love watching a magic show. The acts of a magician would make us  go, “OOHHHHHH” And then for days we would be under the influence of that magicians acts and we would be in awe. 

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So what if we are grown ups now? I feel there is still that influence of magic on us. When I read a book, something which grips me so hard it’s hard to let go, I feel that it’s magic which holds me to it. After I have completed the book, I am somehow still stuck to it. Like its a jinx which holds me to it. Don’t you feel that some books are hard to let go? What is it that makes you not forget them and actually dream about them whenever possible? I feel it’s magic. 

The kid in me thinks that those books are magical!! that’s what I feel! Keep this magic inside you , keep the kid alive and happy!!

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