I didn’t make my bed today

I am one of those, who wakes up in the morning and wants to make my bed immediately. One of those who wants everything in place and organized. I have always been like this. Ever since I was a kid, this habit being inculcated by my parents, being an officers daughter.

Now, with two kids and a day full of chores, making my bed gets delayed, but I still do it. Picking up the same toys multiple times and stacking them is habitual now. Trying to get everything organized before going to bed only to wake up next morning and have a chaotic household littered with toy cars, legos, story books and colours within an hour of geting out of bed!

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, it is chaos but a lovely chaos created by my two beloved tiny humans . But being in the habit of doing it all again and again, I hustle all day long. There are moments when the exhaustion takes the better of me mentally. I want a break from all the cleaning and organizing.

One such day, after being up most of the night with the kids, I felt as if I couldn’t move a muscle. I did not want to get out of bed. I did not want to clean and organize. My elder one looked at me, hugged me and said,”Mumma, stay with me here.”

It melted my heart!! I always left my girl to play alone so I can finish up my work. I left the little one to clean and organize and there are times he would cry for me. Even though the grand parents are there to look after them, a mothers presence is what they need. So, I listened to my girl and I stayed with them on our messy bed. It was full of toys, books, play dough and creased sheets. But it was also full of snuggles, kisses and laughter.

One day I stayed in bed and left everything aside. Sometimes, you need to give yourself a break. Leave the laundry for a day. Leave the dishes for a few hours. You deserve a few minutes. Don’t rush to finish your work. Take a moment. Stay in that moment.

Amid COVID-19, as it is things are difficult with the kids not being able to go out and meet people and play. We parents can atleast give them our undivided time.

Stay home. Stay safe everyone. This too shall pass.

Love and chaos- life of a mamabear

When I was a mother of one kid, I complained that life is hard. I have no time for myself and all other excuses. I became a mom of a toddler, running behind her, trying to save her from licking the ground, sticking her fingers in electric sockets and those normal toddler habits.

Then I had another baby. A beautiful baby boy and life was full of love!! I was amazed at how much love I have for both of them. And then the real hustle started!! One cries, the other starts the same to match the decibels. There is envy which the elder one showcases using various tantrums. More attention is given to the elder one to help her feel secure and loved. Suddenly life is all about multiple loads of laundry. Such tiny people need so many clothes in one day!!

Entire day consists of me running around either making milk and other food items for the elder one in the kitchen or feeding the little one. Then there is making sure everything is clean as I am kind of a cleanliness freak! Also, being a toddler mom, there are horrors thinking of what your kid might catch as toddlers tend to lie on the floor and lick things no matter how many times you say no.

Then there is your own food to eat. That is secondary! There are times I forget to drink water or even pee. Every mom will resonate with these moments I am certain.

Then there is the sleep schedule which actually isn’t a schedule. You crave to sleep but when the kids finally sleep you have a dozen tasks in mind to do including the thought of doing nothing and siting with a cup of hot coffee for a change. Hot coffee is a rare luxury for moms!! I crib in front of my husband that life is just so chaotic. But every now and then my heart just warms up by just looking at these two humans.

Such a lot of chaos, yet such a lovely chaos. These kids are the reason I live and breathe. And there is so much love in every hug and cuddle. I love this chaos. I am sure you do too.

Happy thoughts

For years I always feared that if I am too happy then sadness is bound to find it’s way to me. I was scared to be too happy. I lived in fear of what horror was waiting for me round the corner.

Now, 2020, becoming a mom of two and living a life where I have to live for two humans and not just for myself, I have discovered that the “Law of Attraction” is indeed the truth. Whatever you think and feel, you attract. Reading books like The Secret, The Power of the Subconscious Mind and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, I became an optimist. I chose to believe that everything will work out. I said to myself and my family that life is good and future also holds goodness for us. And I believe in staying content with what I have and what I will get. I have happy thoughts in and around me. I choose to give happy thoughts to others as well. My friends and family.

Stay happy everybody. Send happy thoughts accross the universe and you won’t be disappointed.

The Guilty Mom

Mothers are the epitome of love and sacrifice. Everybody knows this well known fact. But what many do not pay heed to, is the fact that many mothers go on frequent guilt trips.

I am a mother of two. My elder one is a toddler and younger one is just almost 2 months old. Naturally the elder one has pangs of jealousy now and then when she realizes that her love is now divided. That leaves her perturbed and sometimes angry. And that leaves me in a conundrum. How do I manage to tell her I love her the same if not more each day? It makes me guilty at times if I am unable to make her adapt to a certain situation.

Also, what is common is mothers needing some alone time. Some me time is needed for self love and for our wellbeing. But that leaves many mothers guilty,thinking that they are leaving their family behind.

Mothers shout at their kids, punish them. It is needed for their betterment. But later, when alone, they are filled with guilt and remorse as at the end of the day, their love for their kids is limitless.

Many new mothers experience post partum depression. It is a real thing and it leaves a mother unsettled, lonely,inadequate and scared.

You are not alone. Every mother goes through these guilt trips. It is how you resurface from this and emerge stronger shows that a mother is truly

the strongest yet the most gentle of all human beings.

We are all a little scared

We get one lifetime. We want to do it all in this life that we get. We want it all.

Success, money, happiness. We all strive all our lives to achieve these. Since childhood it is a race. To be the top in class, sports, extra curricular. To get in the best college, get scholarships, land a good stable job and then further keep on going and going on that path.

We all embark on this journey of achieving our goals and wanting more. But at the same time, we are all scared. Scared to lose what we have. Scared to lose money, fame, position, people we love.

The richest man might be scared of losing the position of being the richest man. A poor man might be scared of losing the 10 bucks he was given for his day job. A mother is scared of losing her kids due to innumerable reasons like diseases, accidents, etc. A man is scared of losing his family due to monetary issues or other interpersonal issues.

We are all scared. But we all keep moving forward. We are human beings and that’s what we do best. Move forward even in the face of crisis or the lingering feeling of losing it all. Don’t let the fear keep you from moving forward and achieve what you desire.

I read this quote somewhere,

Don’t let the fear of losing keep you from playing the game.

Old fashioned

Call me old fashioned,

But I still prefer the feel of pages and the smell of books,

Rather than touch screens and ebooks.

Call me old fashioned,

But I still want long conversations over coffee and cookies,

Instant messaging makes me feel like a rookie!

What happened to plain old friendships?

Where the joy of meeting had no bounds?

What happened to eating your food in peace,

Without pictures and tagging and competing for popularity like hounds?

Call me old fashioned,

But I need those simpler times back.

Where love and friendship was simple and life needed no hacks.

Little things

I know it is a mad race out there,

I know everyone is running.

But take a breathe and look around,

Be thankful for the little things.

Just take a moment to appreciate,

Maybe the dew drops in the morning,

Maybe the chirping of the birds.

The innocent smile your child gives you ,

You need to take a breathe,

These little things are the queue.

I know you have goals,

You have things to do.

But take a moment to check your pulse,

Be thankful for it beating,

Little things can change the way you look at the world ,

And how you look at you.

It’s okay to have feelings

In today’s world where everything is a race, people expect you to be a shark. Else you won’t move upwards and be stuck and eaten by the ones who are sharks, who don’t let emotions get in their way.

On the other hand, emotional intelligence has paved its way into the corporate world making its mark. So what do we do? Do we have feelings or not? Do we act on our emotions or not?

As a woman and a mother and a mother to be of my second child, I am not shy to admit that I have a lot of feelings. Mostly people will say its hormones. Well, hormones or not, there are a whole lot of feelings. Emotions about present and future. Anxieties and aspirations. I ,personally, am of the view that emotions are important but in moderation. Being totally emotional will get you nowhere but in a further mush of emotions. It is okay to cry sometimes and let your feelings out. It makes you light and then you can move forward from there.

It is okay to feel and then brainstorm on working a solution out of situations. Having emotions doesn’t make you weak, but submission to them totally and not doing anything else does.

It is okay to feel. Feel and then move on.

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