The forgotten diary

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Ever since I was a little girl, I kept a diary. Writing in it my day to day joys and sorrows, it kept me going through some tuff times (the adolescent times  as they say). It was my priced possession, something which I cherished. School, college, it covered them all.

But true life starts once you are out in the real world. Facing the big bad wolves all clawing for success in every field. I started my job and slowly my diary lay in my closet, waiting for ink to seep in through its pages soon. I wrote my diary mostly during weekends when I was away from the hassles of work and wanted to vent out my anger against sexism at work place and unfair bosses.

I frequented my diary often when the phase of my marriage came along, as there were so many emotions, so many new characters in my life I had to talk about. So many questions and so many dreams. My diary sure was happy as we had become best friends again. But soon after marriage, once I settled down and work and family took all my time, my diary lay forgotten in my closet, dust accumulating on it, still waiting for me to share again. I feel guilty today as I realised that I had stopped writing. My diary is what made me realise I love to write, that I can express myself on paper than otherwise. Yet, it is forgotten now and I feel ashamed. Its like I forgot a friend who was with me listening to me in every wake of my life.

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To all those who keep a journal, DO NOT STOP. It’s a part of who you are. Don’t let it lay forgotten amongst magazines and old newspapers, dusty and frayed. Keep it close to you, cherish it, be regular. There is nothing known as “No time”. You have to make time for everything. Keep your diary alive!

Loving yourself..

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I am an individual. I have an identity which I very well like to maintain. Everyone has their own set of problems and their own set of dramas lined up in this funny journey called life.

On this journey, we get so engrossed pleasing others, taking care of others, earning money, power and fame that we forget to love ourselves. We tend to buy expensive clothing, perfumes, shoes to make others like us. To fit in the crowd, all the while forgetting to look at ourselves in the mirror and be proud of how far we have come.  Half of us get degrees because our parents wanted us to, half of us do it to achieve a position of power, be rich, have a rich household. But what about taking some time off, being with yourself? Loving yourself?

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In this race of life, we humans have forgotten to love ourselves. Look closely at ourselves to notice how much we have changed, how much we hate ourselves. We constantly try to fill the void which exists in our soul. What we need to do is take a break, look at ourself, spend time alone and love ourself. Tell yourself that you have come so far and you are doing good. Things will be fine and you are a good person. You are beautiful . We have stopped loving ourselves which in turn has made us this robotic being who is constantly running errands and jobs while forgetting to live. We need to usufruct this life and the outcomes of our achievements.

Take a break, pamper yourself, motivate yourself, love yourself!

Recreate Yourself

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Look around you, 

there is only fear and lies. 

Its time to recreate yourself, 

Be strong and break all the ties. 

When I look at the world around us today I am filled with despair. What I see is barbaric mass killings, cheating, scams, scandals and I am submerged with fear and shame for the human race. What is this race upto? What shall it all end in ?  Killing now a days has become as easy as typing the word on the keyboard. Rapes, murders, kidnaping, scandals have become as easy  as watching a tom and jerry episode; they come, do the deed and are out within 20 minutes and we are all left gaping at the TV . What has become of this race?

The human race was supposed to be the smart one which survives and thrives all the odds and emerges stronger and victorious. Instead , what I see is this race serving over others corpses and snatching the box of happiness of others and thriving on it . I think we need a reset. We need to recreate the goodness and the positivity which this race was all about.

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Just like scientists recreate their solutions when they fail an experiment or atlas make a few tweaks here and there to make sure of the success , we need to make a few changes, or maybe recreate altogether. Just like a kid solving a mathematics recreate his entire solution again to check where he went wrong. We humans need that !!

I do not mean something like Genesis where the word ends and then starts all over again. (Apocalypse is a big NO). what i mean is recreating and finding the humanity and goodness which is still buried deep beneath the pile of greed, jealousy, lust, cheating and lying. We need to reset to out factory settings and become the race which we were meant be. The race which runs this world and makes it a better place and not a scary one.

Press Pause Superhero!

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For all of us out there, sipping our morning coffees and running late for work. A virtual hug for all of you!!

Life has become so monotonous with this corporate life that I think we have entered the age of robots already. And here I refer to us as the robots to avoid any confusions . Look at us!! We wake up, rush to read the paper, make breakfast, have coffee on the way to work, and as soon as that laptop is switched on, human emotions are switched off. Nothing remains except “issues to be resolved”, “cases to be cleared” , people to be fired and people to be hired.

I guess during those 10-11 hours, our brain is doing all the work while our heart is at rest. But the funny thing which I realised is even after those tiresome hours are over, our heart has little to say. As we tend to hit repeat the moment we think out heart is stirring from its slumber, trying to stand up. And the story continues.

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Where is the time for our heart to even disclose what it actually wants. We are in a constant loop. And it doesn’t stop. Doesn’t even pause as a matter of fact. Remember, in those sic-fi movies or the superhero movies, when the world is taken over by the bad guys/robots/ant people, a superhero comes and saves the day.

Well, now would be a good time to press pause , wherever the hero is!!

Those simpler times……….

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There was a time when getting a “Good” written by your teacher would become the best day of your life.

There was a time when getting that extra hour to watch television before going to bed was like an achievement.

Those were the simpler times I must say. Look at us now!! We are a part of a race. We have lost the meaning of happiness. No one is satisfied, no one is content. We all want more and more. Better jobs, more money, bigger house, beautiful partner, fame, etc. When does it all stop??

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Those simpler times, when after a long day at school , getting appreciated by your teacher , having an extra piece of cake at dinner, watching the TV would give us the feeling of pure content and a sound sleep. What has happened to us now?? Nothing is simple anymore. No one is at gratified anymore.

We have a tumultuous relationship with life now. It will never be simple again. But we should always try to find a loophole, and find the simple sweet things that give us a sense of satisfaction. Spending time with your loved ones, reading your favourite book and making people smile. Maybe these tiny acts counterpoise the rush hour life which we have now. Maybe these make things tiny bit simpler for our benefit.

Keep it simple.

That feeling!!

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You know that feeling when you think, “Screw this shit, I am done!!”

I am sure you all do. We all have that feeling  time and again.So I am going to elaborate on that feeling today.

I have been away for a long duration from my blog and I am appalled that I have not yet lost my followers!! You all are great by the way !! So, coming back to that feeling. I have been working in the corporate sector for a while now. Apart from the few good friends I have made and the salary that gets credited in my account at the end of every month, its palpable that “Screw this shit, I am done” comes to my mind frequently. That feeling when you do everything meticulously and still get a mouthful is beyond my understanding. I am sure all those who “work”, no matter where they work , will relate to what I am talking about.

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Then comes that feeling outside work. As if at work wasn’t enough. Life just throws it all at you, expecting you to scoop and dive and jump like an all-rounder olympic champion all at once. Sounds like fun!! Outside work, it’s people expecting you to be brave and shine at every step in your life.  You cannot always be bright and shiny. There are days when you are dark and sulky and just want to be that ay for a while. But God forbid you get peace!! People (friends and family whom I do love with all my heart) say stuff like “Buck up!!” “Get over it” “Cummon, you have been through worse” “Dont get down just because you had a bad day at work”

Well, I am no GOD. I have human feelings and at times like these I do have feelings like asking everyone to “Shut the hell up!” “Let me be” oh, not to forget sometimes to smash my computer on someones head!! I am sure most of you will comprehend with that feeling the most.