Where am I?

I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a daughter in law. I am a friend. I am a student. I am an aunt.

So many roles. Proud to encompass them all in me. Life goes on while playing all of the above mentioned roles. Always keep one role anove the other, prioritizing one anove the other.

One day, knackered and dazed, i sat wondering, where am I in all these roles? What do I do for myself?

I agree that being a mother is fulfilling. Being a wife is a lovely feeling. But, admist all this, where am I?? What do I do for my role? What about some self-love?

This year, 2021, I make a resolution to love myself, take care of myself. Keep myself in the list of roles that I play. At times, prioritize myself at times.

Try it!!

Picture courtsey: http://www.drashwinikulkarni.in/latest-update/self-love-worth-it/35

Tea and mommy- a short story

Early morning, or is it still night? Siting upright with the baby in her arms. Mommy yawns and moves her shoulders, which indicate an ache in her muscles. Baby jerks in his sleep, and mommy starts to rock him again. He hasn’t slept well because he is unwell. Just normal winter flu, cold, sneezing and the likes. But he has been uneasy, hence sleeping in her arms all night.

He lays still. Sleeping. Phew!!

Mommy tries to put him down but he makes a frown and she picks him up again in her arms where he instantly goes in his slumber again. What is the time? She looks around the quilt for her phone. Its too dark. She finds it tucked beneath the teddy bear. It is 5 am. Ok. So it is morning.

Her eyes are heavy and she might have fallen asleep sitting up beacuse when she checks her phone again it is 6:30am.

She picks up her phone amd texts her mother in law(they live together) telling her how the baby is sick and she has been up all night. Her mother in law calls her to ask about the baby’s well-being, avoiding to enter the room as he might wake up. Mommy says he is fast asleep now. So mother in law gets her a hot tea in her mug.

Ah……the sight of steam rising from the mug gives a sense of peace to mommy. One sip, and the aching muscles coo. The baby stirs a bit and both the mother in law and mommy begin to panic but he goes back to sleep. They heave a sigh of relief. Mother in law leaves the baby, the mommy and the tea.

Mommy takes another sip, letting the warmth spread. All the exhaustion slowly leaving. Hot cup of tea works magic!! Especially for mothers all around the globe who are up all night.

Just like that- lost

Life is unpredictable. Everyone knows that. But what we do not know is how we lose ourselves in the process of living this life for others.

This life and the peoole in it, their expectations, their demands, specific norms and other stereotypical tendencies make sure that an individual is always on the run. Running for a better job, a better spouse, a better position, pleasing others, bigger house, bigger car, etc.. In that process, we forget who we are! What we truly like. What we truly enjoy. In the pretext of having what others think is necessary and to show others your superiority, we truly forget what is our essence.

For example, a very successful businessman, who has a dozen factories, mills, longest cars, a beautiful model wife and a mansion might have forgotten what truly makes him happy.

What made his heart flutter when he was innocently and uncorrupted. A mother who wakes up each day and starts hustling for her kids and family, she has no time for herself. She has forgotten when was the last time she did something for herself. She is lost in her duties to her family.

Just like that, we lose ourselves for others. Out of love, out of compulsion or out of the rat race to success. Do not forget who you are in the process of achieving what you want to be. The richest man, the best mom, best parent, best student. Keep your essence alive in you. Be in touch with yourself. Smile for yourself once in a while.

Motherhood

Motherhood is raw.

It is unfiltered.

It is unconditional.

It is sleep deprivation and tired eyes.

It is pushing your limits.

It is checking for monsters behind the curtains at 2 in the morning with the same amount of curiosity as your toddler despite being exhausted.

But it is the most beautiful feeling in this whole wide world.

All us moms strive to get some sleep. Some rest. But those little eyes looking up at you just melt all the worries away. You become invinvible. Having said that, I won’t deny that sleep deprivation isnt for the faint hearted. Not to bask in ostentatious motherhood glory, but I have two kids and I am hustling since 2017. And I have a long way to go. But the love keeps me going. Pushing the sleep, the exhaustion away and doing what needs to be done. Being a MOTHER.

If I say goodbye

One more page to turn,

Then I say goodbye.

Get back to this real world,

Where the creativity runs dry.

One more chapter,

To see what my characters do.

Just a little more dreaming,

Then back to life where fairyatles aren’t true.

If I say goodbye now,

The book shut and forgotten.

What use is this life?

If you bury creativity to rotten?

Keep on reading,

Keep on writing.

Words are magical,

The world is your stage,

Go and be theatrical!

Dr. Manoj K. Bhambu

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