The Guilty Mom

Mothers are the epitome of love and sacrifice. Everybody knows this well known fact. But what many do not pay heed to, is the fact that many mothers go on frequent guilt trips.

I am a mother of two. My elder one is a toddler and younger one is just almost 2 months old. Naturally the elder one has pangs of jealousy now and then when she realizes that her love is now divided. That leaves her perturbed and sometimes angry. And that leaves me in a conundrum. How do I manage to tell her I love her the dame if not more each day? It makes me guilty at times if I am unable to make her adapt to a certain situation.

Also, what is common is mothers needing some alone time. Some me time is needed for self love and for our wellbeing. But that leaves many mothers guilty,thinking that they are leaving their family behind.

Mothers shout at their kids, punish them. It is needed for their. But later when alone, they are filled with guilt and remorse as at the end of the day, their love for thwir kids is limitless.

Many new mothers experience post partum depression. It is a real thing and it leaves a mother unsettled, lonely,inadequate and scared.

You are not alone. Every mother goes through these guilt trips. It is how you resurface from this and emerge stronger shows that a mother is truly

the strongest yet the most gentle of all human beings.

We are all a little scared

We get one lifetime. We want to do it all in this life that we get. We want it all.

Success, money, happiness. We all strive all our lives to achieve these. Since childhood it is a race. To be the top in class, sports, extra curricular. To get in the best college, get scholarships, land a good stable job and then further keep on going and going on that path.

We all embark on this journey of achieving our goals and wanting more. But at the same time, we are all scared. Scared to lose what we have. Scared to lose money, fame, position, people we love.

The richest man might be scared of losing the position of being the richest man. A poor man might be scared of losing the 10 bucks he was given for his day job. A mother is scared of losing her kids due to innumerable reasons like diseases, accidents, etc. A man is scared of losing his family due to monetary issues or other interpersonal issues.

We are all scared. But we all keep moving forward. We are human beings and that’s what we do best. Move forward even in the face of crisis or the lingering feeling of losing it all. Don’t let the fear keep you from moving forward and achieve what you desire.

I read this quote somewhere,

Don’t let the fear of losing keep you from playing the game.

Old fashioned

Call me old fashioned,

But I still prefer the feel of pages and the smell of books,

Rather than touch screens and ebooks.

Call me old fashioned,

But I still want long conversations over coffee and cookies,

Instant messaging makes me feel like a rookie!

What happened to plain old friendships?

Where the joy of meeting had no bounds?

What happened to eating your food in peace,

Without pictures and tagging and competing for popularity like hounds?

Call me old fashioned,

But I need those simpler times back.

Where love and friendship was simple and life needed no hacks.

Little things

I know it is a mad race out there,

I know everyone is running.

But take a breathe and look around,

Be thankful for the little things.

Just take a moment to appreciate,

Maybe the dew drops in the morning,

Maybe the chirping of the birds.

The innocent smile your child gives you ,

You need to take a breathe,

These little things are the queue.

I know you have goals,

You have things to do.

But take a moment to check your pulse,

Be thankful for it beating,

Little things can change the way you look at the world ,

And how you look at you.

It’s okay to have feelings

In today’s world where everything is a race, people expect you to be a shark. Else you won’t move upwards and be stuck and eaten by the ones who are sharks, who don’t let emotions get in their way.

On the other hand, emotional intelligence has paved its way into the corporate world making its mark. So what do we do? Do we have feelings or not? Do we act on our emotions or not?

As a woman and a mother and a mother to be of my second child, I am not shy to admit that I have a lot of feelings. Mostly people will say its hormones. Well, hormones or not, there are a whole lot of feelings. Emotions about present and future. Anxieties and aspirations. I ,personally, am of the view that emotions are important but in moderation. Being totally emotional will get you nowhere but in a further mush of emotions. It is okay to cry sometimes and let your feelings out. It makes you light and then you can move forward from there.

It is okay to feel and then brainstorm on working a solution out of situations. Having emotions doesn’t make you weak, but submission to them totally and not doing anything else does.

It is okay to feel. Feel and then move on.

The future is foggy

Its climate change.

Its global warming.

Our oceans are dying.

We read all these headlines regularly now. We post and discuss about it. We see activists who are trying their very best to bring out some action rather than just discussions. What am I doing?

Yes, I am concerned about the future. Its foggy. I am a mother of a toddler and expecting another little one. But what do they have in their future? How can I make sure as a parent and as a human being that they DO have a future. The way our world is turning out, ozone layer depleting, oceans dying, there is no clear picture of the future.

I try bit by bit. I try to use less electricity. I try to waste less water and food. I try to make sure others around me don’t use plastic and save water. I know these are minuscule in comparision to world’s current issues but I guess we should all do our part. Not for us but for our kids and their future.

The future is foggy, lets get to work.

Being ordinary

I have been told time and again, I am ordinary. I have heard people use this term for numerous people at numerous occasions. “Ordinary”

It pinched me everytime. Why wouldn’t it? All our lives, we strive to be something better, something big and worth remembering. And when you are called ordinary, it leaves you feeling high and dry!

Well, my friends. I have a thought for you. If everyone is extra ordinary, then they aren’t actually extra ordinary. And history has shown us, that people who seemed most ordinary did the most extra ordinary things in the world, sending shock waves through all the people who once treated them ordinary.

Every once one a while, life will push you to your limits. People will call you things and names that prick you like a 1000 needles. Getting up after all that and standing on your own feet, head held high. That is extra ordinary. Never backing down even when people doubt your abilities. That is extra ordinary. Being ordinary isn’t a label that stays with your forever. The people who call you ordinary haven’t seen the light in you which is waiting to outshine others.

Nights like these

The wind silently gusting,

The breathing of my loved ones slow and peaceful.

Everyone around me in a slumber,

Nights like these make me wonder.

It’s my time to let my mind go free,

Nothing to divert my attention but my own soul at will.

It’s my time to dream and hope,

Thinking of my endeavours which I want to fulfill.

All day long we rush through life,

Not stopping to even think what we really like.

It’s work , family, rest.

It’s money, power, fame. All objectives of our quest.

Nights like these when I am wide awake,

I wonder of all the things I can do,

Of what I have done and what I want to get done.

Of the stereotypes that I want to break.

No one knows how wild my imagination goes,

Nights like these,

Fuels up my soul and on an adventure it goes.

My baby stirs a little and then back to her slumber.

Oh that was close,

My mind back to ponder.

Nights like these I see,

All the possibilities ,

I get to bed finally.

Keeping in mind,

The next new day is a new opportunity.

Labels

E511B1F6-64D3-4AC8-BA41-B501E988B394

When you go shopping for whatever reason, what do you keep in mind? Budget, genre and the LABEL which you are going to buy.

With humans now a days hash tagging everything from feelings to the labels which they or their kids ar wearing, I personally think our entire lives are labelled.

Think about it! Even kids label some kid as scrawny, teachers pet, a loser, a bully. We are given labels since the moment we step into this world. Every kid has been labelled in school. COme college and we are given different labels. Some are labelled as snitches, some as popular girls, some as studs, some as nerds and it goes on. Stepping into adulthood, we become spouses, parents and other labels are attached to us. In addition to these, we find comfort in buying and owning the labels which we chose on our own. Which no one has bestowed upon us but we have chosen on our own accord. Some of us are very particular when it comes to buying our preferred labels. Why so? Is it because at least that is one thing which we chose to define us? Atwork, our targets, our clients , our bosses define us as hard working, a slacker , a psychophant, a go getter. People label us based on from where we are, our background, our family, income, color, creed. We do not control those.

Hence the labels which we buy. The bliss of owning a lable which you like and which you think defines you gives you a sense of security that yes, you can define who you are by what you wear. To hell with the world who chooses to label you based on stuff which you aren’t made of. The label can be anything. It’s not based on the money but on your choice. It might not even be a known lable, but as long as you chose it for yourself, sans the judgement and lingering eyes of this big bad world, it’s your choice. And your choice matters.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: