Being ordinary

I have been told time and again, I am ordinary. I have heard people use this term for numerous people at numerous occasions. “Ordinary”

It pinched me everytime. Why wouldn’t it? All our lives, we strive to be something better, something big and worth remembering. And when you are called ordinary, it leaves you feeling high and dry!

Well, my friends. I have a thought for you. If everyone is extra ordinary, then they aren’t actually extra ordinary. And history has shown us, that people who seemed most ordinary did the most extra ordinary things in the world, sending shock waves through all the people who once treated them ordinary.

Every once one a while, life will push you to your limits. People will call you things and names that prick you like a 1000 needles. Getting up after all that and standing on your own feet, head held high. That is extra ordinary. Never backing down even when people doubt your abilities. That is extra ordinary. Being ordinary isn’t a label that stays with your forever. The people who call you ordinary haven’t seen the light in you which is waiting to outshine others.

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Nights like these

The wind silently gusting,

The breathing of my loved ones slow and peaceful.

Everyone around me in a slumber,

Nights like these make me wonder.

It’s my time to let my mind go free,

Nothing to divert my attention but my own soul at will.

It’s my time to dream and hope,

Thinking of my endeavours which I want to fulfill.

All day long we rush through life,

Not stopping to even think what we really like.

It’s work , family, rest.

It’s money, power, fame. All objectives of our quest.

Nights like these when I am wide awake,

I wonder of all the things I can do,

Of what I have done and what I want to get done.

Of the stereotypes that I want to break.

No one knows how wild my imagination goes,

Nights like these,

Fuels up my soul and on an adventure it goes.

My baby stirs a little and then back to her slumber.

Oh that was close,

My mind back to ponder.

Nights like these I see,

All the possibilities ,

I get to bed finally.

Keeping in mind,

The next new day is a new opportunity.

Labels

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When you go shopping for whatever reason, what do you keep in mind? Budget, genre and the LABEL which you are going to buy.

With humans now a days hash tagging everything from feelings to the labels which they or their kids ar wearing, I personally think our entire lives are labelled.

Think about it! Even kids label some kid as scrawny, teachers pet, a loser, a bully. We are given labels since the moment we step into this world. Every kid has been labelled in school. COme college and we are given different labels. Some are labelled as snitches, some as popular girls, some as studs, some as nerds and it goes on. Stepping into adulthood, we become spouses, parents and other labels are attached to us. In addition to these, we find comfort in buying and owning the labels which we chose on our own. Which no one has bestowed upon us but we have chosen on our own accord. Some of us are very particular when it comes to buying our preferred labels. Why so? Is it because at least that is one thing which we chose to define us? Atwork, our targets, our clients , our bosses define us as hard working, a slacker , a psychophant, a go getter. People label us based on from where we are, our background, our family, income, color, creed. We do not control those.

Hence the labels which we buy. The bliss of owning a lable which you like and which you think defines you gives you a sense of security that yes, you can define who you are by what you wear. To hell with the world who chooses to label you based on stuff which you aren’t made of. The label can be anything. It’s not based on the money but on your choice. It might not even be a known lable, but as long as you chose it for yourself, sans the judgement and lingering eyes of this big bad world, it’s your choice. And your choice matters.

Bird in a cage

Looking outside wistfully,

yearning to go stretch its wings.

Life has come to a standstill,

This bird in a cage sadly thinks.

There is no free will,

Every move being judged.

The bird should give up already,

But it’s spirit won’t budge.

It still dreams of a day,

When it can do as it wishes.

The bird in the cage dreams on,

To some day fly over these bridges.

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A little while longer……..

 

Come hold my hand,

let me feel the spread of your warmth through my body,

a little while longer.

Come sit by me,

let me feel your scent fill my lungs,

a little while longer.

I am strong for the world,

but let me be weak with you,

a little while longer.

I am mature and responsible,

but let me be a child with you,

fickle and carefree,

a little while longer.

A little while longer is all I need,

A little while longer is my greed!

 

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Long time, no EQ

Hello everyone. I know I have been absent for quite some time now. And my reason is a pretty adorable one- my 1.5 year old daughter.

Raising a toddler whilst maintaining a relationship with your friends, family and husband is one hell of a task. Yes, you heard me right. We mothers are always tagged with being too emotional, too touchy about things. Too much EQ running high within and around a mother.

There are rough patches in every relationship. Things come to a rut. And if you are a romantic fool like me, then you still expect your spouse to do the things they once did when you first started going out. You still expect the same EQ, the same zeal as you. But you don’t get that , do you?! It’s normal in every relationship after a certain point of time . Especially after a new tiny human comes into the picture. I know things cannot be the same, atleast not for a while. But if you cannot do those cheesy romantic things anymore, atleast you can have a little empathy towards one another. Have the same level of EQ to match your compatibility.

In today’s world of hatred, cheaters, frauds, liars, terrorists maybe EQ is what we all need. Do not show what you are doing for others, but atleast feel their pain and empathise. Do not try to show your love to 100 people around, but make your loved ones feel supported and safe.

For a mom who is struggling to eat, sleep, cook, clean for her baby, try to just support her and listen to her when she tells you about her exhaustion. Try to understand her level of exhaustion rather than compare yours.

For a teenager who is struggling to find his/her own identity, dealing with bully’s, trying to figure out what they want- try to listen to them and show that you support them rather than thrust your opinion of what is supposed to be done.

I think we all could use some  EQ for a better world.

Race for respect

We all strive hard throughout our lives for success, fame, money, a beautiful family, and what not. everywhere we see, man is racing to achieve something or the other. If we see between both the genders, women are racing for equality and to dissolve discrimination in ever field. There is a race everywhere.

When it comes to marriage, a man wants a beautiful wife, who earns well, looks good, cooks good. What is all that about? Women strive hard all throughout there lives to be the perfect life partner, the perfect mother, daughter- in- law and the perfect example of a working woman too. Is it so that everyone loves them? Is it a need for love from everyone around?

I think not. It is a race for respect! Not just women. It is for all human beings. A man will race all his life, to provide for his family, his parents, be good enough for his friends. He doesn’t need approval. He needs respect. The moment a person knows he has earned somebody’s respect, there is an internal peace which gushes thorough the heart, warming you up. Take Indian women for example. We are all aware that India is a developing nation, still on the cusp of age old traditions and globalization. Here, girls are raised with high class education, MBAs, PhDs, etc.. But when it comes to marriage, the most common trait families look for is can she manage a household, can she cook and look after her family. Overcoming all this, the lady does it all. Cooks, works, keeps her family happy. She doesn’t do it out of pressure. She does it for respect. From her in laws, her husband and for the respect of her parents. People might not love you for what you do, but if you gain their respect, it a jewel in the crown itself.

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Students might not love their strict teacher, but they respect him nonetheless. That is what humans look for. Respect. I am a married woman. I love my husband a lot. We may not be romantic all the time. We may have good and bad days, like every husband-wife, we bicker. The love is another chapter all together. But the respect we have for each other never lets us cross any line. We may not display affection everyday like shown in the movies, but respect exists.

Changing for yourself

People say we change. Yes we do. But how and why?

I have heard my peers say things like, “Ever since she got married, she has changed.”

“Motherhood has changed her”

“Since he became the boss, he has changed totally!”

But is change good or bad? And doesn’t everybody change with time? Time is a funny thing and it has it’s own will. Post marriage I realized that in order to have a happy life, both the spouses have to change a bit. But nobody forces that change on you. If it is forced, it isn’t change, it is just following orders submissively. But if you change for yourself, with a will of your own, then nothing like it. It leads to a happy and peaceful life.

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Many people relate change as bad. I mean, sure for some it might be. People may change their attitudes due to a superior job or sudden heartbreaks or emotional setbacks. People change for the world because of the world. That is temporary and the results are not that pleasant. A heartbreak might change you to a person who doesn’t trust anyone else. But that isn’t how it works. Sooner or later you will have someone in your life who will make you trust them. Changing because of events or people won’t help you grow. It will just add a defensive layer around you to show others.

Motherhood changes women. They no longer have time for parties or friendly brunches. But that is not wrong. It is because their only priority at the moment is their child. When the kid grows up, the brunches and parties return slowly. Nobody forces a mother to change. She does it herself. For the child and herself. That kind of change is positive and is needed.

Don’t be let down if people say you have changed. Just be glad you have done it for your own good, smile and carry on.

The world is much bigger than you

Being a grown up means stress being your middle name. You are running from from here to there trying to do everything at once.  Pay the bills, pick up your dry cleaning , keep your special one happy and pampered and on top of that, try not to lose your peace of mind. The end result is a zillion of people with raised BP issues, heart problems and other health issues. All because of stress of doing it all.

Being a married woman with a big family, an infant and an understanding (but sometimes childish) husband means a whole lot of hard work for me. I am trying to do dozens of things at once, whilst trying to keep everyone happy and trying not to break down under the pressure. The end result; nothing I do is perfect , everything is haphazardly done and I , personally, suffer emotionally. It was one of those days when my emotions got the better of me and I shed a few tears that my husband gave me some advice. “Its always about the priorities. Prioritize things and do them one by one. No one is perfect. Do one thing at a time and I know you will do it perfectly.”

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It got me thinking, does everyone get to chose their priorities? Or am I one of the few who gets this option. I mean, I have seen people who are trying to make ends meet round the clock. I have seen people do two jobs just to feed their family even though they don’t like either of the jobs. Do they have an option of doing one thing at a time? There is so much of poverty and hunger in this world and here I am worrying over cooking, studying , feeding, etc.. There are wars going on, people dying of diseases unknown . The world is bigger than you and I . So lets take a break and be thankful that you are alive, healthy and happy in this world.

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